no sleep so

can't sleep so let's forget about it, why try
when instead we can be leaping over the candlestick
and following that yellow brick road
mine isn't made of gold, however, it's constructed with stars
only the brightest of the lot,
the shooting power of six million smith and wessons

i want a young boy in delhi to see me fly across that sky on my rocketship
and point to his friends, and smile
maybe the first smile he's known in three days
yeah. i want to do that.
but wait. imagine that smile turn into sheer laughter and joy if another
flew by right beside mine.
two, right in a row? can you believe it? what are the chances? he'd shout.

that rocketship will expire, however, and then where will we be?
maybe floating, flipping, moonwalking all day
maybe hurling back down to Earth to see where, and how, we left it
just a check-up, really, until the next stars arrive at our station-
when that boy hasn't smiled in too many moons, we'll give him no other option

if our yellow brick road doesn't show us the way
i think we'll take a new-hued route
we'll run and we'll jump as far as we can, leaving streaks of colors
to which they'll yell 'rainbow!' when we finish
only to start anew
we'll make 30, 40, 50 a day! hawaii won't be the only destination
cut out for magic on this adventure
we'll leap through nebraska and fairbanks and rome.
maybe we'll connect the dots, leaving bright, doubted archs
in six countries at once.
and when we tire, and need a rest, or a drink, we'll sit on
that lakeside swing, the one that sways loudly in time,
watching our rainbows,
waiting for our stars.

and we'll create. something new. if ever we believe that our work is done.

i wish you could see into my mind

i wish you could see into my mind

so i wouldn't have to show it to you
i wish that i never had to speak a word
to make you realize that it's you
that makes me smile
everytime i smile

you that i laugh at when another tells a joke
you i hug when it's her
you i talk about when i rave about time well spent

but i'll never use your name
i'll never give it away
because i'm scared
as scared as the word allows in itself

i fear that i'm wrong
that i'll change my heart after i tell my story
that you'll disagree with every notion
that the connection that i feel
that i know
will be broken and i can live no longer with the idea of us
nor on the false string i've tied between us
i've learned how to walk the tightrope
would you meet me in the middle?
of course not.
life would not be so forgiving
so kind
so i'll keep my smiles for you, and
i'll give them to everyone, but with your name silently attached
but will never speak of it
to you
to them
or to myself

things i have learned in the last three weeks.

trees can change a life.
water is supposed to be clear.
love is supposed to find me.
although one may possess everything beautiful in life, everything perfect in love, i may not be required to love them.
a pen does the heart's work too many times.
a heart should do the heart's work.
a conversation is worthwhile only when both parties believe the other is learning from their anecdotes.
family is supposed to be accepted, regardess of friendship.
i tread on sidewalks that i am forbidden to walk upon.
i believe in children more than love itself. and i believe in love. more than anything.
each day is a lesson learned from the previous days' lessons taught. respect that, it's told me.
fresh air is not a right. it's a priveledge.
tolerance of those who frustrate is necessary. those who frustrate are not worth a broken hand and a hole in the wall.
granola is good shit. with blueberries.
blueberries are fucking good in oregon.
i can learn from those younger than me. i can love those younger than me. i shouldn't judge them.
so much is to be done. but i am right where i need to be, so that one day...i can do what is to be done. i can fulfill my dreams. i can love with open arms and no regrets, and i can teach the world what i have set out but have yet to learn.